Yay

Well I've had the most amazing weekend. Me and God had a few really good conversations, a fight or two, and finally God kicked me in the butt and showed me what I've known all along. That seems to be my relationship with God right now. I'm happy to announce that, for the past two days, I've finally had my priorities straight. Having said that, it is a struggle every second to keep God on top. God is a gentleman and will allow himself to be displaced by other things. I have to make sure he is not. It's a struggle.

This weekend was also pretty crazy as far as how I've grown emotionally. Ever since about 6th or 7th grade I've had a really hard time trusting people and opening up to them. I think this stems from the fact that I used to trust people only to have them turn around and use that against me. I've developed this shell I hide in when ever I get hurt. I don't like it in that shell but it's my reaction when attacked, to slip back into the shell and hold all my emotion to my chest. This weekend has been good for me because I had to apologize to people for a couple things I had been feeling earlier in the week. But it made me feel good to open up. Sorta like a breeze after a long time in prison.

One last awesome part of this weekend was the fact that I got the chance to get baptized by a really close friend of mine. This guy has been a pillar in my life since coming to college and I was so happy that he was willing to baptize me. I feel that by going thought this symbolic action I could shed my old self who was very closed and had his priorities in the wrong order. I think it could also have something to do with the insanely cold water. It was really awesome because I told Bob (the friend who baptized me) to hold me under for a while. I let him hold me under till I felt the need to come up so that it felt like I had really died. It was an amazing feeling.

On a completely different note I've started listening to Blink-182 again. Some of their songs are a bit rough but the one I've come to love in the past couple days is their song "First Date"

"First Date"- Blink-182
In the car I just can't wait
To pick you up for our very first date
Is it cool if I hold your hand
Is it wrong if I think it's lame to dance
Do you like my stupid hair
Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear
I'm so scared of what you think
You make me so nervous so I really can't eat

(Chorus)
Let's go
Don't wait
This night's almost over
Honest
Let's make
This night last forever
Forever, and ever
Let's make this last forever

When you smile I melt inside
I'm not worthy for a minute of your time
I really wish it was only me and you
I'm jealous of everybody in the room
Please don't look at me with those eyes
Please don't hint that you're capable of lies
I've dreamt of the thought of our very first kiss
A target that I'm probably gonna miss

(Chorus)
(Chorus)